It's been awhile, and a lot has changed in that time. I'll officially announce (though I already did in Japanese, I now do so in English) I am leaving to teach English in Japan June 27th. I don't know yet exactly where I'll be, but it is supposed to be somewhere in Kanto, that is, the eastern part of Japan, most likely in Tokyo or nearby.
And I'll tell you something, I'm actually sort of regretting I am leaving, or at least so soon. I have been working for a publishing company, and I really enjoy it. I really enjoy working with words all day, even if they aren't my own words, even if they are about avian diseases or laser spectrometry (I'm not even sure if I spelled that right!). I've dreamed a few times about living out in the country, biking to work every day, and just sort of sitting things out while the world goes to crap around me. I almost wonder if I could do it.
And then I realize I am lucky I am being pulled out by something I set in motion earlier this year. Because I could get stuck, I could stay here, and then in 5 to ten years wonder what happened. The fire to be in Japan has cooled a little--though of course it was burning so hot it was really hurting me--and now I see it more as a step on the way, hopefully the first of many international experiences. I would have a tough time wrenching myself out of a comfortable life here two or three years down the line if I didn't have this teaching job compelling me forward only a couple of months after I got the job at the publisher.
But it is remarkable how easy it is to become a lotus-eater, to forget your greater purpose and settle for a life of ease and pleasure. I can't say I know my purpose, I don't really think I have one, but I do know I got side-tracked from a dream I'd had, and it is now time to throw myself into following that dream.
But it sure is tempting to sit and watch the fireflies.