firefliesandsnow

Los Arcos and the promise of the Camino

firefliesandsnow — Sat, 27 Jul 2024 15:10:00 GMT

You've probably heard the Camino is life-changing. Maybe not for everyone; but do something where you walk for over a month, through physical and mental obstacles, and I think it's bound to have a lasting effect, even after the Camino. That was the case for me.

Los Arcos was the beginning of a new phase in the Camino for me. Up to Pamplona I was getting my bearings; when I stayed for a rest day in Pamplona, many of the people I had met to that point did not, and they moved on to the next city. This was not a huge loss, as at that point I knew the names of only a handful of those I had seen on the way. In Los Arcos this changed.

Nettles

firefliesandsnow — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 06:12:00 GMT

I walked up and down the grid. Up and down. I watched units pass by, one, tick, two, tick, three, tick. Zero, tick, minus one, tick, minus two, tick. If I could just veer to the left, somewhere that had an x, but I moved only y, y y.

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A kingdom of ice

firefliesandsnow — Sun, 06 Apr 2014 23:03:00 GMT

I 've found a way up.

I remember, so very long ago, when you and I looked up to the heavens, and we saw the stars, floating, moving, and we thought it might be possible to get there, and it might be fun to try to get there, where there is light.

I've found a way up.

The leaves are turning

firefliesandsnow — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 01:53:00 GMT

A new letter.

I 'm enjoying my little plot of land. There's a nice circle here, a walk I can make in a few minutes, centered around a tree. I've found it soothing.

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When it rains...

firefliesandsnow — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 04:49:00 GMT

I've just opened another letter and I find there is more!

Mom,

I know you and Father did not want me to be wood. Maybe that is why you forced men of metal on me later, because if I wasn't metal, maybe our babies would be. You are crystal, but metal grinds and scratches crystal; you must have known how many times I was scratched and scarred. How many times has he hurt you, mother, willing or not? With the first metal boy, I told myself it wasn't him, I didn't put together the scratches and his hard edges. But his sharp bones tore the skin off my breast, and soon I could see notches and scoring in the wood underneath. I was young and I was in love and so I bore the pain, until a large mass had grown there and every caress was agony; you know I left him then. I would not let the other men of metal so close to me, but they, too, cut at my skin and always left me bleeding; the scar in my chest did not heal.

A new letter

firefliesandsnow — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 04:32:00 GMT

It's been some time since I've received a letter to pass on. This one's been percolating for a while, so there may be more, but I wanted to pass this one on, it's been sitting on my desk for some time.

Mom,

Before I was born, I fell. Through the bright, self-lit limbs of monstrous tall trees, I fell with the sound of the wind in my ears: WHOOSH. That sound and the exquisite, luminous white of leafless trees, and only darkness and silence otherwise. I stared straight down, because I couldn't focus on any single branch, instead they tore my view with jagged white like lightning, one after one, whoosh whoosh whoosh. They were all molten platinum veins glowing in the darkness, the limbs, and they were many and the same.

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Retreat, part III: pain and a turning point

firefliesandsnow — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:06:00 GMT

The first few days, as I've said, we focused on breathing and I nearly lost my mind. Not actually, but a lot of effort went into keeping myself seated, not running off to go to the bathroom or looking for some other escape.

What is vipassana meditation? and a retreat overview

firefliesandsnow — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 12:26:00 GMT

The type of meditation I grew up hearing about was breathing meditation: quieting the mind and gaining focus through following a simple bodily process that is always present in a living human being. I find this method hard to use on its own, no matter how long I sit. It is monotonous, the breathing can be very subtle, and I've always found it easy to switch off my brain but keep the pretense that I am still following my breath. By the end of the retreat I had learned to meditate on my breath better, but in the beginning I found it difficult.

The retreat

firefliesandsnow — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 03:43:00 GMT

It's been a while since I've come back to Lawrence; not a whole lot going on other than job-hunting and carousing, so I haven't updated the blog.

It's sometimes hard to believe I ever went on a 3000-mile bike trip, but I have a memory now and again that helps bring it back. And I feel different, about myself, about my life, and I know that came from the many experiences I had on my trip. One thing has been bugging me, and maybe others who followed this blog: I never gave an account of my experience at the retreat near the end of my trip.

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Finishing up some loose ends, starting something new

firefliesandsnow — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 19:57:00 GMT

Well, I'm back, maybe to stay? I don't particularly like to blog much while I'm not doing something exciting like, uh, living in another country or riding my bicycle every day across this country. But I've got some stuff I'd like to finish up, and I occasionally have some new stuff I do want to throw out there. So for the time being I'm removing updates from my Facebook page so that people interested in my travels but not much else won't get inundated.

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